dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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