I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I have feelings that need drinking.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
