That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I could fuck to npr.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
