How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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