So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
