dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize