Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
