Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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