And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
