Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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