the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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