some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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