I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
