Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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