My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
