remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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