She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
