hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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