Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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