I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
