I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
