normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
