im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
so much tequila, so little girl.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
