if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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