I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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