Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
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I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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