Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Randomize
