so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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