He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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