Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
