4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
its liver damage thursday
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
