So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
