my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
