how can u be prego again
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Enjoy the penises
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