she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
please don't ironically join a cult
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