So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
