My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
