I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
