I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
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