My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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