Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
