How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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