margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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