Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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