I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
