Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
