piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
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the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
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My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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