I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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