with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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