Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
