Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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