3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
