Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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