How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize