508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
