We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
do herpes really smell.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Bring me that man meat
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
