And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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