history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
