I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
