He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
