Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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