On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
